The Pastry War of 1472 (2007-11-09)

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A history lesson from a fictional world.

• General Information fought in the Pastry War of 1472. He helped the Cupcake Empire topple the Donut/Danish alliance at the border town of Cenandy by reinforcing the western flank stationed at [REDACTED], making the Alliance's use of their famous Vice and Drill tactic impossible.
• However, due to lack of collaboration, the Muffin Liberation Army was able to swoop in and claim the region for their own selves.
• In response to this, the Czar of Ovens set a series of events into motion that would lead to major Strudel victories across the continent, and, subsequently, the fall of the port town Staffelgarte.

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• Following the Oven Czar's razing of Staffelgarte, delegates from most warring factions met in an undisclosed location to discuss peace treaties. These meetings were widely unsuccessful and often resulted in mini-skirmishes between the bodyguards who were assigned to protect the delegates.
• Three weeks later, Helios III, Security Advisor of the Donut/Danish Alliance, died from [HOT SAUCE] poisoning. The rest of the Alliance's Council was in a state of panic long enough for the Cupcake Empire to conquer their capitol city of Donishhia.

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• Always the people to one-up the Cupcake Empire, the Muffin Liberation Army's special forces quickly eradicated all signs of life in Cupcake-controlled Donishhia, which had been captured from the Donut/Danish Alliance following the death of their Security Advisor.
• After learning of this, Olovolos, dictator of the Cupcake Empire, launched giant taco shells at nearby Muffin-controlled border towns.
• This gets their attention. As the MLA closes in on major Cupcake relay nodes across the world, Olovolos is forced to ally with the Oven Czar and his army of Strudelmongers.
• But being the power-crazy idiots they are, the entire area they were assigned to protect was completely destroyed, them and the MLA along with it.

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• Three months after the creation of the Strudel Scar, leaders from all nations signed peace treaties that are still in place to this day, ending the mindless and pointless bloodshed. Bagelossia was created as a land-locked neutral country seperating the previously warring factions. The United Baked Goods was formed as a peacekeeping mandate between the five nations now in existence.
• Seven generations of peace and prosperity followed before the next major war. However, the United Baked Goods would have no part in it, and simply allowed the Bread Militia to be defeated by the combined forces of Colonel Yogurt and Sir Wai Ning.
• A trade route from the UBG nations to Dairia was then opened via the repopulated town of Staffelgarte. It quickly became one of the most successful goods exchange routes in existence.

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